LGBTQ+ Victims of Intimate Partner Violence
Intimate partner violence (IPV) is when one person uses threats, violence, or abusive behavior against the other person in a relationship. The abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, or economic, and the abusive person can be either a current or former partner. For more information about IPV, please go to the Domestic Violence and Family Violence section of this site.
Abuse and violence happen in LGBTQ+ communities and within LGBTQ+ relationships. The rates of violence in LGBTQ+ relationships are similar or even higher than the rates of violence in other relationships. LGBTQ+ communities have not been well-studied, but we do know that the barriers created by discrimination, and the lack of understanding and respect for LGBTQ+ individual reduce options and make it harder for them to seek help.
Things to know about LGBTQ+ IPV
While intimate partner violence is similar in both heterosexual relationships and relationships in the LGBTQ+ community, there are some differences.
Tactics of Abuse
Some of the tactics used by abusive partners can be unique to a LGBTQ+ relationship. Some examples include:
- Threats of outing, such as threats to expose the victim’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or HIV status.
- Controlling their partner’s expressions of gender identity and connection to the larger LGBTQ+ community.
- Using children to control or manipulate the victim. This may happen particularly in cases where the children are related to the abusive partner but do not have an established legal relationship with the other parent.
- Preventing their partner from spending time with friends, claiming that the friends are really sexual partners.
- Telling the victim they won’t be believed because of their LGBTQ+ identity.
- Making fun of their transgender partner’s body or appearance.
Challenges to getting help
It can also be more difficult for LGBTQ+ victims to receive the services they need. For example, service providers and first responders may:
- Wrongly assume that transgender people or same-gender intimate partners cannot be victims of IPV.
- Have their own biases and prejudices about members of the LGBTQ+ community. This can be especially hurtful and prevent victims from seeking help.
- Not know appropriate resources or what the victim’s legal rights may be.
LGBTQ+ victims have a right to receive services from Domestic Violence Programs
NYS licensed domestic violence programs must serve all victims of intimate partner violence, not just women abused by men. For example, if a shelter has space, shelter staff cannot deny you housing or place you in an alternate location just because of your gender.
If you are refused shelter or help because you are LGBTQ+, you can:
- Contact Empire Justice Center for help or email Lettie Dickerson at LDickerson@empirejustice.org.
- File a complaint with the domestic violence program, the NYS Division of Human Rights, or the NY Office of Children and Family Services.
- In some cases, you may be able to file a complaint with the US Department of Justice Civil Rights Division.
For more information about your rights to access shelters as a Trans, Gender Non-Conforming, and Nonbinary person, please see the Opening Shelter Doors Know Your Rights Guide on the Empire Justice Center website.
For resources and other information, please go to the Intimate Partner and Family Violence section or the Safety section of our site.